Friday, October 15, 2010

Unchosen -- #fridayflash, poetry

Little girl, little girl
hurting so much.
Why does it hurt so bad?
When do I get my shot,
something for the pain?
Please nurse,
Something for the pain.

If I can't have sometihng
then at least give the doctor some pain
so that he knows.
It isn't fair for him to deny me
when he doesn't hurt.
Give him a chance to suffer
if only for a short while.
I have little doubt
that he'll give us each a shot
if he has a taste of this.
He'll not endure what I do.
Sitting there on my bed
looking down with his sad eyes
feeling sorry for someone
lying on under the white sheets below him.
Let him join me and see
if he doesn't hit us both up.

Why am I so lucky
to be given the chance to prove my strength?
I did not ask to be the messiah.
He chose to be the doctor.


Kim Batchelor said...

Very touching, Susan.

Susan Cross said...

Thank you, Kim. Not exactly #fridayflash but I never got my story written last night. Maybe next week.

Eric J. Krause said...

Good poem, Susan. Sad situation, but it makes for powerful poetry.

Jai Joshi said...

This is really powerful, Susan. The last two lines shook me.


Susan Cross said...

Do you think people like to read pieces like this or do they prefer more literary poetry? This was written so long ago and yet my tendency is to gravitate more in this direction. I look forward to posting and writing more of this poetry/prose.

I'm going to take 'powerful' as a compliment. So thank you Jai and Eric

ganymeder said...

Wonderful word choices for a sad subject. Nicely done.

Sulci Collective said...

loved the idea of a messiah not being a calling like a doctor is. I'm no poetry maven, but this works very well in answer to your question about literary poetry.

marc nash

J. M. Strother said...

I always like reading poems that tell a story. I am curious as to the cause of the pain, but have complete empathy for the patient here.

Steve Green said...

I must be honest, and say that I don't usually comment on poetry, mainly because I don't usually understand it.

This piece however, has a powerful message, one that is also well-written a may add.

It brings to mind the phrase, " walk a mile in someone else's shoes"

Susan, you put a strong point forward very well.

Tiffany said...

Hi Susan-I enjoyed your poem and I think there is always a place for it when you have something to say such as this. It is a story just a lilting and haunting one. Great job!

Susan Cross said...

Thanks, Tiffany. And thanks for stopping by and reading.