Friday, October 23, 2009

Out for a beer - #fridayflash

“But man, how are you going to make it work? You’ve been with her for a few weeks and she thinks she’s in love with you,” the bartender said.

“I’m just told her that I was just going out for a beer. Now I’m going to have her old boyfriend, Steve, call her. She’ll realize how much she misses him and I’ll be off the hook,” Doug told him.

“Didn’t they have a really bad break-up?”

“Yeah, so once I found out they had split, I kind of moved in to comfort her and that’s how we got together.”

“Won't he hold that against you? If you call him isn’t he going to be really pissed at you?”

“Nah. They were made for each other. They just needed a break. I could tell when she cozied up to me so fast that her heart wasn’t in it. She just needed a shoulder to cry on. Besides, she was hoping Steve would find out and be jealous and come running back.”

“I heard he’s the jealous type. I mean, if you call him he might want to kill you or something. I saw him get into a brawl here once. The bouncer had to break it up.”

“I'm not worried. He met this gorgeous blond and couldn’t keep it in his pants so he was a pretty happy dude. That’s why he and Deb broke up. Turned out the new girl was just having some fun with him and moved on to the next guy after a couple of weeks. Then he realized how much he missed Debbie.”

“How can you be so sure this is gonna work?”

“Trust me. It’ll work. He knows he blew it and thinks she’ll never take him back. When I tell him that she’s miserable, he’ll call.”

He dialed the phone. “Steve? How’re things going with you and your new chick? I heard she’s really hot.”

“Man, she is really hot, but not for me. Not anymore. I can’t believe that bitch seduced me like that and broke up my engagement and then dumped me. Boy do I miss Deb.”

“I’ll bet. You two seemed like you were made for each other. But how could you let yourself be tempted so easily if you’re so in love? The old hormones kick in?”

“Yeah. That was part of it. I think I got cold feet. You know, with the engagement and everything. Suddenly it became so real. I wasn’t sure I was ready. That blond girl was my easy way out and I took it.”

“If it was so easy, how do you know it won’t happen again? I mean, if you and Deb got back together and some other hottie came on to you the way that blond did? Do you really think you could resist? I’m not so sure I could.”

“First place, Deb would never take me back after what happened. But if she did I would never do that again. Now I realize how much I love Debbie. And you have no idea how hot she is in the bedroom. I know she looks like little Debbie Homemaker but that’s part of the fun. In the kitchen she wears her little apron when she’s cooking but in the bedroom she wears only that little apron and really gets cookin’!”

Hmmm, he thought. She never put that apron on for me -- not in the kitchen or the bedroom. Maybe I should just leave this beer and go back to her place, he thought. If I stay with her a little longer she might show me what she’s really got going on. We’ve only been together a few weeks.

“Wow, Steve. Too bad you blew it. Sounds like you two had a great thing going. After what you did, you’re probably right. She’d never take you back. Chicks can be funny that way. Once you do them wrong they never forgive you. It’s always in the back of their minds that you might do it again. Even if you did get back together, you could go through a lifetime of marriage and every time you went out for a beer she’d wonder. I’m really sorry things worked out this way. Sometimes, ya don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.

After he got off the phone, he clugged what was left in his glass and went back to the apartment. Deb was lounging on the sofa watching TV. He wondered how long it would take ‘til she recovered from her break up and started wearing that apron.


J. M. Strother said...

I thought the ending was very funny. The ex could have sounded a little more jealous on the phone, after the build up, but loved seeing the light come on for Doug. Enjoyed it.

Susan Cross said...

Your comment is spot on, Jon. I have obviously not got a good grip about the way a man's mind works. I made him sound resigned but I think he should have been jealous and a little nasty. I did the editing when I got back from vacation. I was too relaxed to think nasty!

Marisa Birns said...

Hah! Very funny how it turned out!

And no matter where Debbie or bedroom...she's still "cookin" :)

Susan Cross said...

Not my typical stuff. Trying to work more with dialogue. Glad you liked it. I think Jon's right, though. Steve would have been jealous, not resigned.

~Tim said...

It's not clear how well the two men know each other. I think I would believe the conversation more if Doug "just happened" to see Steve in the bar rather than calling him on the phone.

Susan Cross said...

I had originally put something in about them knowing each other from high school and it sounded lame so I deleted it. Makes sense about seeing him in the bar, or going to a bar where he knew he'd run into him rather than calling him. Good catch. I have some editing to do. Thanks for your constructive criticism. That's what I need to learn, especially when writing male characters.

Jai Joshi said...

Ha! You made me laugh.


Susan Cross said...

Laughing is always a good thing.