tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post4118065159701024909..comments2023-11-30T10:14:32.373-05:00Comments on Susan Cross Writes : Roses are Red—and Yellow—and WhiteSusan Crosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05076064230626935030noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-68694183977298669642010-06-22T10:09:04.661-04:002010-06-22T10:09:04.661-04:00Very nice. He is so weak and infantile, but he hol...Very nice. He is so weak and infantile, but he holds such power over her. This is a really sad one, and probably all too common a situation.Matt Merritthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02731741347561501172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-73310578718014581082010-06-18T12:39:47.017-04:002010-06-18T12:39:47.017-04:00It's amazing what some people will do for what...It's amazing what some people will do for what they envision as love. Or at least companionship. My mother used to say, "for every old sock there's an old shoe."Susan Crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05076064230626935030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-32983450686521973832010-06-18T12:20:00.459-04:002010-06-18T12:20:00.459-04:00This is heartbreaking. I've actually seen this...This is heartbreaking. I've actually seen this a couple of times in my life with various people I've known. Some of them aren't even aware they're playing the role.<br /><br />Still, salute to Eduardo for knowing how to make sure Eve keeps ON paying the bills and mortgage, eh? Clever little man.<br /><br />Well done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-28145327081211295612010-06-18T09:21:33.227-04:002010-06-18T09:21:33.227-04:00John, I miss EU terribly. It's hard to hold a ...John, I miss EU terribly. It's hard to hold a conversation on Twitter. Thanks for your constructive criticism. You are right on the money. I was picturing it in my mind and then fell into the trap and told you about it instead of staying in the "show" mode. I did reread it but missed it the 2nd time, too. I appreciate your comments.<br /><br />Deanna,<br />I know it's sad but I thought it was kind of funny, too. Funny--pathetic, not funny-haha. Here's this woman paying for flowers for all these other women but when they're for her she forgive him all his sins--as long as she's the only one that gets the RED roses. People are strange but as my husband says everytime I post a story, "You can't make this stuff up!" I'm not saying it's based on real life but...Susan Crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05076064230626935030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-70691313969343948082010-06-18T06:45:42.742-04:002010-06-18T06:45:42.742-04:00Well written story Susan, and while it's a sad...Well written story Susan, and while it's a sad one it left me laughing. Poor Eve - I hope she comes to her senses soon.Deanna Schrayerhttp://www.theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-29494408304609673522010-06-18T01:25:17.080-04:002010-06-18T01:25:17.080-04:00Hey Susan. I miss folks like you from Editors Unle...Hey Susan. I miss folks like you from Editors Unleashed. Hope it comes back soon.<br /><br />You asked for constructive criticism. Mine is classic "show don't tell," which is annoying to hear, but relevant. The opening section is fine for a first draft; you get all your thoughts out this way, I do too. But returning to it, look at material like "Eve had him by about eight inches and almost 50 pounds. He was obviously afraid of her but he could never leave. She owned the house and paid the bills. He had quit his job weeks ago but had failed to mention that to her. Being 12 years younger than Eve, Eduardo felt like a child." You can show us that she's eight inches taller and much heavier by a description as she advances on him, or express that size difference in her doing something to him. In the middle of this argument, I don't want to pause to hear that she pays the bills outside of their dialogue exchange. If it doesn't fit in it, express it so it's obvious - it's already implied since he has to use her credit card for roses. Some information is necessary, but this kind of exposition is slowing things down rather than supporting them. Look at the second half of the story and you don't backfill with exposition almost at all; it's moving briskly and we're seeing how they are. I think that dynamic can work in the first half, because angry provider/submissive dependent is an archetype in life.John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-80427564228505233222010-06-17T21:49:04.302-04:002010-06-17T21:49:04.302-04:00The bum. Good showing of couple dynamics. Peace......The bum. Good showing of couple dynamics. Peace...Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01110078016784294934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-71187926624342098132010-06-16T21:42:52.029-04:002010-06-16T21:42:52.029-04:00Other WOMEN, not woman, Alan. As long as Eduardo u...Other WOMEN, not woman, Alan. As long as Eduardo used some of her money to send her flowers, she thought he was an utter romantic. Who can explain the dynamics of any couple? If you read my other stories you'll see that many of my flash fiction focuses on relationships. I find each one intriguing in its own way. All fictional, too--yeah, right!Susan Crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05076064230626935030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-83527194649880064052010-06-16T21:18:59.338-04:002010-06-16T21:18:59.338-04:00Hmm...I wonder if the roses were enough to take he...Hmm...I wonder if the roses were enough to take her mind off 'the other woman' though. Well written confrontation between the couple, Susan.Alan W. Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17067022519729701245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-85894671709510862192010-06-15T18:01:28.566-04:002010-06-15T18:01:28.566-04:00Especially after she gets the Visa bill with her r...Especially after she gets the Visa bill with her roses on it! Thanks for dropping by Rebecca.Susan Crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05076064230626935030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-497169516087803680.post-28123375483909900022010-06-15T16:56:54.115-04:002010-06-15T16:56:54.115-04:00Oh that is so sad. I'm left just willing her t...Oh that is so sad. I'm left just willing her to kick him out!Rebecca Eminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01931904595437049369noreply@blogger.com